To celebrate Yuchuan’s birthday, we went out to “tea party” which was this pretty extravagant and overpriced board-game cafe. I didn’t have much fun because it was Derek’s “idea of an all-guys outing” and only guys went which meant it was very rough and a bit gay. Although I laughed a lot, Strahan treated us to pizza and we played around a bit, I could sense a bit of tension in the air and it was rather uncomfortable.
On the way back I was thinking.
Mostly because I was talking to Chor Hian and that afterwords I was sitting opposite a lovey-dovey couple. The only reason why I was sitting opposite a lovey-dovey couple is because I was on one of the newest lousily-designed buses with a pitiful amount of seats and every alternate pair facing backwards. And the best place to think about stuff would be opposite a lovey-dovey couple because when you’re opposite a lovey-dovey couple you tend to look away from their happy moment awkwardly and think about other things. Also because I was listening to We Are Scientists.
I was thinking that I wanted to do something with my life. Something that isn’t totally about computing. Because I’m sick and tired of computing. But I’m stuck with it so that sucks.
I don’t need or want to be popular.
I want to be respected for once, to be a role model or something for once, for someone to think that I’m so awesome or something that he/she reads my blog and attempt to copy my style which is mostly what I do oops
For someone to make me feel wanted, for a reason to exist, for a group of BFFs, for friends I’d like to be together with to the very end and for friends who I’d really care about (do I already have them?).
That would work. I really need an ego boost.
But until I manage to increase my willpower and manage to work hard to be talented at something… that’ll have to be the way the cookie crumbles.
We have to redo our PW stuff and there isn’t really enough time left till the promos.
It’s time to close the laptop.
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