indiscretion’s worth a try

Did you ever have this huge empty feeling of depression, when you feel like everything’s gone to shit and life sucks blah blah?

From all the work that’s coming up, all the shit I’ve been through, the plain fact that I’ll get 25% for Computing, all the shit about others I have to stand, the fear that my apathy towards homework will lead to my demise, the constant, constant paranoia stemming from overanalysing body language and words.

Now I get seriously annoyed at everything. Everything. At how like-whoring everyone is on Facebook. At how everyone’s just being unoriginal by retweeting on Twitter. At social media as a whole because guess-how-much-of-a-fuck-I-give-about-what-you-think. About how my mother always blames my sorry ass for everything I complain to her about. At how people are talking to me on Steam/MSN. At how people aren’t talking to me on Steam/MSN. At how inappropriate people can be in public. At how damn desperate people are At how I’m always wrong just as when I think that I could be right. At how bloody stupid the Presidential Elections are. AT ALL OF IT.

I really want to talk to someone about all this meaningless shit now but the person I used to talk to… isn’t there any more. It’s really really depressing and I get very sad thinking about it.

All those late nights, just sitting at my laptop, fingers clacking over the keyboard. Chuckling at antics of the past, while listening to each others’ stories of lost relationships, emotional pittances and unmentionable woes. Those were seriously the best string of nights of my life.

I’m just wandering around and cold-turkeying now I guess. No one to talk to, no one to make you feel . An existential crisis if you may call it 🙁

So readers, tell you what, I’ll tell you what I’m doing now. And you can whisper words of encouragement at your computer. I want you to imagine this.

I’m clacking away at a keyboard, while slouching lazily on an office chair. That Ikea one, which everyone seems to have. Enclosed in the area between my arms, the keyboard and my body is a coconut with a spoon protruding out of the hole on top. The coconut is hollow save for the long handled spoon poking out the front.

Aaah fuck this shit I’ll go back to reading The Doomsday Key. EMO TIME

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqn6dXILjHE]

Inaction – We Are Scientists

Call on the fates, this’ll take a second
While I fall on my face, like everyone else
and we can talk all we want, but all I can say
is that I’m sorry and I’m sorry
but I’m never gonna do it again

Counting on my relative friends
When this keeps coming up again and again
If everybody knows how its gonna end,
why doesn’t someone stop me?

Because I’m sick of waking up on your floor,
for the sixth or seventh night in a row
I’m lying next to you in all of my clothes – someone stop me

It’s hard to rely on the rhythm section
when they’re all packing up and they’re heading for the exit
Yeah, we’re all just the same, a bunch of slaves to fashion
Who are tall, dark and scared and just praying for some action

How am I supposed to know what makes this happen?
How am I supposed to know what makes this happen?
How am I supposed to know what makes this happen?
How am I supposed to know what makes this happen?

I’m counting on my relative friends (inaction)
’cause this keeps coming up again and again (inaction)
If everybody knows how its gonna end (inaction)
why doesn’t someone stop me? (inaction)

Because I’m sick of waking up on your floor, (inaction)
for the sixth or seventh night in a row (inaction)
I’m lying next to you in all of my clothes – someone stop me

I can’t keep counting on my relative friends (inaction)
’cause this keeps coming up again and again (inaction)
If everybody knows how its gonna end (inaction)
why doesn’t someone stop me? (inaction)

Because I’m sick of waking up on your floor, (inaction)
for the sixth or seventh night in a row (inaction)
I’m lying next to you in all of my clothes – someone stop me