Over-reliance, over-dependence, whatever it is.

Spent the whole of last night knocked out on my parents’ bed. Dreamt I was sitting at the beach in the sunset with my crush in my arms and I believe I was smiling like an idiot because my facial muscles were terribly sore when I woke up. I stared up at the ceiling and rocked on the spot while hugging my knees. I am so alone.

I got the same amount of work done as I would’ve if I were awake. None.

I’m really too damn over-reliant on everyone else for just everything. Years of being spoon-fed with revision worksheets, having teachers chase me for work all the time left me with a terrible lack of independence, like that disgustingly metallic after-taste from blood in your mouth.

Which also makes me become rather clingy to my peers and especially unwilling to accept the fact that people might have lives outside of that with me and it’s rather pathetic of me blargh. I’m already starting to miss meet-ups and this sucks bad.

I just can’t survive on my own. Overdependence at its worst.

Also on bus rides home I go “oh wow I am so pumped and I am so going to finish this MATH REVISION PACKAGE”

And I die in front of the computer. (update: I am watching children eat food)

I suck I suck I suck.

I’ve failed 3 tests in a row this fucking sucks I HAD BETTER DO SOMETHING QUICK.

—

2 days  1 day left OH I can’t wait.

Fooling around in Victorian garb would be the coolest thing anyone could possibly do.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vraoiVCDdaM]

Holiday – Vampire Weekend

Holiday, oh, a holiday
And the best one of the year
Dozing off underneath my sheets
While I cover both my ears

But if I wait for a holiday
Could it stop my fears?
To go away on a summer’s day
Never seemed so clear

Holiday, still so far away
A republic on the beach
I can’t forget just how bad it gets
When I’m counting on my teeth

But if I wait for a holiday
Could it stop my fears?
To go away on a summer’s day
Never seemed so clear

A vegetarian since the invasion
She’d never seen the word “bombs”
She’d never seen the word bombs blown up to 96 point Futura
She’d never seen an A-K in a yellow day-glo display
A t-shirt so lovely, it turned all the history books grey

I got wheels, I got Cutter spray
And a healthy sense of worth
Half of me is the gasoline
But the other half’s the surf

But if I wait for a holiday
Could it stop my fears?
To away on a summer’s day
Never seemed so clear