Really tired. And frustrated. This day had so much potential to be memorable and a highlight, and yet all we could talk about was the fate of the damn future.
The talk’s definitely essential. But argh the nice seniors were there, we were. But maybe it was unavoidable. We had people leaving after a while, discussion became slow, I couldn’t keep my story going and people started to become restless. Everything became bleak and it sucked because my feet were sodden from water bombs (thanks a lot, edmund and clarice sheesh) and I was cold and tired.
When you’re tired you either get very high or just stay grumpy for no damn reason. And when you’re tired and cold and wet you can’t actually get high.
The talk was bleak. About the future again. Don’t get me wrong, I love these guys. I love this event. I met new people, everything went smoothly and it was awesome. But if all we could talk about was how it’s gonna die and how we cannot save it. Denial, yup. But don’t send me off telling me that my hometown’s going to explode.
This morning, I told someone that he was being pretentious. He got really sarcastic and defensive about it and said “don’t project”. I wasn’t even arguing with him; I was concerned. I gave an actual fuck. And all he could do was to say that I’m the one being stuck-up. Ironic, much. I’m not sore about it. I’m disappointed that I didn’t even try to argue back, just because he’s done me favours. I’m disappointed that he didn’t even bother to listen. I’m disappointed because that comeback was an unfair accusation and denial of what’s going on. I hope he understood my intent.
There are a million other ways this event could’ve ended, and I don’t understand why it had to end this badly. Hope the AAR offers some sort of closure.
Two prisoners look out the window; one looks down and sees the mud; the other looks up and sees a field of flowers.
Leave a Reply