I hope I can finish this before the buzz wears off. (no that was not what she said) That glass was horrible.
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You are posted to: 30SCE
Your vocation is: FP EGR PNR
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Every 20+ weeks, a phenomenon in Singapore happens where a 3,000-strong mass of hairless adolescents throw their jockey caps and slack for 5+ days. At the end of this period, a haunting groan echoes throughout the island at precisely 1000H, when they receive their postings.
Where has my happiness gone? Seems like it can be found at the far-West Jurong camp, where I’m due on Monday (and perhaps the rest of my restless days as a soldier).
I’ve at least 2 people I know who are already/going over there, and I count on Chin Ying’s words that it’ll be much better than it sounds.
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On the eventful (a fast march, pissed-off recruits and no-pissing oh my!) route march, I lamented to my friends about the sadness that was human selfishness, only to receive the wonderful, golden gift of silence.
My addled brain will now repeat this mistake, albeit to a web-based audience.
Have you ever truly tried to live in another’s shoes?
When travelling through a street full of strangers, have you ever wondered what led every one of them to the street? What led the busker to play his guitar so badly on this very street? Is there more to this elderly mother than her calm demaneour? Would this uninterested looking fellow surprise me with tales of his very own life?
These questions first hit me when I was travelling around China in a tour bus in December, 2011. As the bus trundled up the spiral hills of Xinjiang, I saw an elderly woman walking alongside the road, toting a pack full of firewood. As I laid lazily on the backseat, the mad contrast of our current lives confronted me, and I started to wonder. Did that woman live in an apartment or a shack? Was she thinking of her children? What was she doing?
And I laid back, and wondered a little more.
And recently, I marched past a group of cyclists, and wondered if they knew what we went through for the past 19 weeks. I wonder how my busy friends feel about me now, and whether they’d be much more happy in my footsteps.
And we’re all selfish assholes aren’t we?
Whenever a problem comes, we’re quick to point fingers and shift the blame and jump to conclusions and start flames. We never consider the lives of the others and we love to pretend our problems don’t end. Of course, this leads to misunderstandings that should’ve never happened, and as a result, beautiful things end too soon and the honest never really get the recognition they deserve.
Every conversation starts with a “me” in mind, and whatever the others say are usually heard, but not listened to, until a gap introduces itself. The one that kept mum will spring his mouth, ready to be the next presenter, and this will go on and on until everyone’s exhausted their words and become disinterested. And of course, altruism is but a method of self-soothing, isn’t it? People do things ultimately for themselves; even the most innocent of actions are just behaviours to make themselves feel better.
Since when have I become so pessimistic? Such a view of humans is definitely overtly in the negative and I do know that I can be easily proven wrong. I’m bloody selfish and I’ve caught myself conversation-hogging a few times too.
Excuse: We’re all not perfect.
But… knowing is half the battle, isn’t it?
I’m not making sense, heh.
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Next: Absurdism; why life is pointless until you agree with that fact.
And I’m sorry for not sleeping early, as I’d told you.
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