Still Clueless

I haven’t written anything on this thing for some time. I spent the last 10 minutes thinking of how to explain why, but it’s pointless so never mind.

The New Year! 2014 was supposed to be promising. But it’s been bleak. Plenty of introspective journeys while doing absolutely boring things, ranging from MRT rides to spacing out during conflicts. I’ve worked hard last year for damned weeks and yet others with more “prominent” achievements get recognised. Result? I’ve become an absolute slob. A shortcut-seeking sod looking for an exit for everything I’ve been doing. I’ve become an elitist who downplays the achievements of others whenever convenient. I’ve become one real hot-headed douche who cares not about others. Swears flow, excuses are made, tempers rise. I’m bloody damned aware that I’ve become worse and I’m bloody damned aware that I won’t give a rat’s ass in the future, but I’m a worse person so to speak. Can’t allow that to happen. I’m working on it.

Chinese New Year! I am no longer in need of convincing that I cannot hold my liquor. A single shot is too much.

Next. They’ve made me do something about my fitness. I run and do statics whenever they want me to. Fair enough! I’m losing weight slowly again; hope I can find the strength I used to have back in J1.

I’m learning more about myself. I hope I’m wrong about some things.

holy fuck I’m gonna be 20 this year. DAMN IM OLD

Also, I’ve become happier ever since entering this goddamn hellhole where everyone’s a weird-ass mofo, (myself included so the part above where I said I’m elitist doesn’t apply here) which in all honesty scares me to shit. Perhaps the complete change in environment makes it easier to distance myself from all the sadness I’ve used to have. It’s making me much more brutish though (I’m talking throwing cement-grade biscuits at people’s faces out of pure anger), which I definitely detest about myself.

Finally, I think it’s time to revamp my about-me and maybe even the whole concept of this blog altogether. I’m interested in Web design again, but it’s a little daunting. I should start with a website. Man, in retrospect, my design skills sucked.

Maybe I’ll write something more fluent next time when it’s not 1:35am.

*Note: the above post may have sounded super vague, but I’m trying to not mention anything specific about my “job” now. Don’t want to think about it.