Contrast

Mum always says I was much happier when I was younger; she’d ask where that little boisterous boy went and I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t know either.

She also asked me just this evening to pursue what I wanted to do and I coldly replied that just a few months ago, when I asked her if I could pursue graphic design, she told me I was better off choosing a subject that “educated people do”. I stared out the window for the rest of the ride.

I spent the previous week slaving over a competition that I didn’t know I hadn’t registered for in the end, and I spent this week doing that Personal Branding Video for a friend and leaving mine till the last moment as a grainy rushed mess.

I received my midterms and although it showed that I was in the 75th percentile for most of my subjects sans MA1505, I felt nothing but worry that the competitive, bragging ‘friends’ of mine would overtake me in the future while the ones who don’t study would complain to me about how bad they got it.

I’m not even sure if I can keep the advantage up. I’m slipping.

Why do I even hang out with all these people? Aren’t friends suppose to not worry about their place? MLM solicitors, braggarts and those fucks who don’t listen when you provide help but whine when they fuck things up?

God, at least in army they’d tell you what to do.

Here? It’s once every 2 weeks.