Comforts

A couple of hours ago, a friend posted a screenshot on our (pretty dry) exclusive BMT WhatsApp chat. 

It was a screenshot of a Facebook status, and it told of a friend of ours who had passed away peacefully in his sleep. It might’ve had been cancer. I vaguely remembered that he may have had leukemia. 

Of course, being a decent human being, I was mildly shocked (surprised has a rather indifferent tone to it) and started thinking about his ties to me whilst contemplating my own mortality. 

I remember having a single long talk with him about his interests and what he wanted for the future. Mom said she remembered him. Sickly. Skinny before? Crazy collection of Pokemon cards. 

My eyes glazed over as I tallied my achievements so far, and my mind automatically switched tracks away from such thoughts. 

A while later, I saw Andrea’s post on Instagram of an uncharacteristic photoshoot she got and I was immediately thrown back to wondering what I was doing with my life. 

Reservist a week ago… Went alright. RT twice this week so far. Cancelled the one I was supposed to go for today. Earned supposedly 300 after 2 gigs with a robotics company. Finally earning my own allowance? Went on national news in the background of an interview pushing a fucking trolley. That’s a story. Waiting for SEP. I don’t know if I want it. Losing sight of diet control. 

I’d want to stick to the saying that social media is fabricated and filtered stories, but a huge part of me wants to live those for the world to see and heart and like, which in retrospect is really unhealthy. 

I’ll sleep it off. As usual.