what am I doing with my life.
I was lying down in bed and thinking about everything when I suddenly got damn scared. Realized I didn’t revise at all for blocks. Physics, Computing, Maths, Econs, GP and PW, all untouched. It’s going to be impossible to study for everything. But I have to try. Or else I will end up not being able to answer half the questions on the test paper.
Suddenly I don’t want to go sv anymore. So what if I got first prize, retaking J1 is not a fair trade. I doubt I will get anything done at all there.
I think I have super lousy study habits. 混日子all the way since primary 3.
无论尽多少能力，就是读不进脑子。
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My mom just came out of the room and told me that if I was worried I would ignore sleep for the next 2 days to 赶工, if not I’m not worried at all. I want to move out and live on my own. I’m panicking and all she’s trying to do is to 火上加油. She has my interests at heart but what I need most now is encouragement and not a scolding.
Am I studying for myself or my pride or for my friends or for my parents? I really don’t know anymore.
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亡羊补牢，未为迟也！
I must give up everything else, there is no more time for fun!!
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It is 3AM again. I hope I don’t get used to sleeping at this horrible time. It’s not even the proper time for me to sleep to avoid jet lag.