Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

It’s been a real long time since my last blog post; opening a new post always results in a new draft being made, wlth my attention being rapidly drawn to the other 49 tabs I have opened.

First off; I’ve recently moved back to Jurong Camp from Seletar Camp, having “graduated” from a 6-week construction course where I learnt how to construct a “modular kit” (a toilet) while learning about piping, concrete laying, wiring and building a structure for the kit itself. This means I take an hour and a half more to travel home now in addition to all the guard duties and ARFs I’ll be undertaking.

I’ve changed from a sad sack who’s constantly worrying about relationships to a hot-headed asshole who is quick to offend and finds fault everywhere. I find it less easy to empathise with, and past friendships seem to mean less which I feel ashamed of. I take turns to hate people and not talk to them for weeks on end (my record was 6 weeks) and self-reflection to “change” often boils down to nothing. And I often ask myself (and others) why I work so hard just to get no recognition.

I’m constantly tired of how relatively weak I am; I’ve passed my IPPT at long last, but the many others in my company have obtained Silver. I’m still overweight and maybe moreso than last time (actually no).

Uh, so a set of lyrics.

I can’t slow down, I can’t hold back
Well you know, I wish I could
There ain’t no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good