“So where should we go without getting caught?”
I replied, “I’ve heard people go to the roof of that building. Sometimes they go to the carpark. There’s fairy lights at the roof-” “Wow!” “-and there’s a dump at the carpark.”
We settled with sitting on metal stairs in the dark, 4 silhouettes with an ember-red speck before our mouths, leaning on the railings, occasionally spewing forth a smoky vanilla cloud. I wasn’t sure if Mars noticed she was blowing it in my face.
“Shao, I really recommend you visit the ABC centre; it’s for philosophical Buddhism and it’s a great spiritual experience.”
I grinned in the dark and made a mental note to look it up.
You fucking moron, she hates your guts.
“God,” I slouched, with faint smoke out of my nostrils and menthol through my throat. “I haven’t been this relaxed in years.”
Later, I’d say the same thing again.
“Man, I haven’t been this relaxed in years.”
Shut the fuck up, idiot. They didn’t say anything the first time because you added nothing to the conversation stop making it about you
Tom was playing music at the background of our scattered conversations in the dark. He started playing the Bohemian Rhapsody as per request.
“Fellas!” I exclaimed perkily. “Let’s show some respect for Queen.”
The fuck are you doing? Don’t fuck with the vibes you fucking idiot. My God, fuck, you’re the weird kid. Nobody wants you here.
“I know the best place on-campus!” you’re talking too much shut up “The top of Science is not restricted access at all, it’s the best view of NUS and its pretty close to RV too.”
“You’ve got to bring us there.”
“Yeah! We could see the sunrise from there. How much of NUS can you see?”
Their excited murmurings made me eager to lead the way. dont get ahead of yourself. theyll find out how fucked up you are soon enough.
We walked up the ridge, and I led them through the steep, winding roads.
god why are you in front you dumbshit theyre obviously talking without you my god youre an outcast
We found a fence with an open gate and a path into the forest. The rest of them, sans Tom, Annie and me, bounded in without much thought.
dont you fucking follow them altho theyre having fun without you you fuckin pansy
We followed them in after a minute’s hesitation and found WWII era bunkers which delighted the exchangers, who probably didn’t expect to be in such a place at 3am in the morning.
Joseph and I joked the whole time we were exploring, and everyone was in too good a mood to be spooked by the inherent creepiness of bunkers in a jungle.
Annie quipped on the way out, “Wow, to think that we just wanted to wait for them at the entrance, huh?”
I chuckled. stop chuckling, fucker. “Yeah.”
“Welcome to the roof!”
The fellas wowed and nice-d in unison, all eager to climb the ladder leading to the tip of Science.
At the top, Annie looked at me earnestly. “Hey Shao, thanks for bringing us to these places. ”
“Yeah,” Gio raised in his thick accent. “if this is a good day in Singapore… It’s pretty good.”
I blushed in the dark.
Mars asked, “Shao, isn’t this a great end to your birthday?”
I paused thoughtfully. “Yeah. Yeah! Yeah, it is.”
We laid heads to heads on the concrete roof, seeing the stars for the first time in a while.
Tom played song requests. I noted what they each thought was their anthem; Tom loved Lalaland and atmospheric songs like House of the Rising Sun. Gio chose Bob Marley, his time in “weed-legal” Copenhagen clearly showing. Annie and Joseph didn’t suggest anything. I chose alternative and indie rock. Mars chose a mix of peppy electronica, a spoken word piece called State of Origin (‘wow.’ was all anyone said) and the origin of her tattoo, a wispy beat-filled song called ‘Go Do’. I saved it under my playlist, ‘Waking up to a Better Day’.
A star shot across the sky. “Oh my God!” Joseph, Tom and I caught it. We high-fived.
“They say that if you see Orion’s Belt together with friends, you’ll be… best friends forever. But that’s just an ah-lian thing.”
When I woke up in my room the next morning, I stared at the ceiling fan as I always did.
The noise and the haze screamed through my skull.
I tried to cry, but I was dehydrated. My throat itched of smoke.
They definitely didn’t like you. No, but-You’re just there as a goddamn prop. Cig-leeching fucker. They were- They tolerated you. Nobody will like you. You’re too nerdy and fat and sweaty and gross and awkward and you won’t shut up what is wrong with you they will meet up on their own and talk shit about you because why not? You’re just trash.
Nobody.
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