My brother and I sat quietly at the back of the van, with the ambient rumble compounding my uneasiness. I leant against the luggage, idly tweaking the Pokemon GO map.
“Do you remember,” I raised meekly, “The sense of dread when before an exercise? Like when the sky’s all dark and you’re waiting and…” I looked over to see if he was listening.
He wordlessly raised his eyebrows at me, which I took as a sign to continue.
“Um, and you’re waiting; you know that a tough road lies ahead but there’s nothing you can do about it? ”
“Then go exercise more, I guess.”
“What- I just ran yesterday. I mean, no, not that kind of exercise. I mean, exercise exercise, the army kind.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, like it’s tough and all and you’re-” He raised his finger at me and answered his lit phone. My eyes drifted for a few seconds before he motioned me to continue.
I continued, “And you’re just waiting for time to pass.”
“So? What do you mean by this?”
“I’m feeling like that now, I guess.” I felt anxiety fill my veins and struggled to control my voice.
“I don’t get it. Are you going for an exercise soon? ”
God damn.
“No, like, you’re going away and stuff. It’s gonna be five months in Sweden…That’s a long time.”
“What? ” He scoffed impatiently.” It’s nothing much, I’ll come back anyway. I don’t get the problem.”
–
At the gate, I gave him a hug and forgot about his attitude and everything I detested about him; his friends all giggled as he exaggerated his waves at them; a girl from his friend circle wistfully pressed her hand to the glass as he walked into the transit area, out of sight.
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