Author: shao

Went to yuchuan’s house after national day celebrations which was crunk. Met up with Grace since she lives in the same condo which was really surprising 😮

We were originally there to exercise/play pool/play tennis but we got lazy/billards room was booked/it was sweltering so we didn’t and ended up in yuchuan’s bedroom relaxing. Kang, marie and yuchuan were playing games on their computers while I was tossing about the bed listening to Grace play a variety of pop/chinese songs on the piano.

Once again, it was rather idylic to stay in a half-conscious state, listening to the keys of the piano plink together melodiously, the soft hum emanating from the laptops and the occasional swears from the gamers.

How I wish I could play the piano.

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Heard quite a few opinions about twitter and facebook status updates influencing the current generation and making them less propense to post on “macroblogging” services.

If anything, I think these platforms have made me much more keen to post lengthy posts on this blog. Of course, there are other influences too! (but I do feel dumb for writing based on a topic gah) I get fed up because of how silly telling everyone that you’re going to piss sounds.

So I decided that if anyone wanted to write about their lives, they should do it with pride and honour and at least 200 words.

[I got distracted and lost track of what I was going to say here]

I spent the entire day with my math homework under my external keyboard so I didn’t manage to do anything.

Time to review the list of “commitments”

1. SL Project [5 times in 5 months]
2. THAT project [NOTHING DONE]
3. HnF [ROUTINE]
4. ECQuad [DROPPED]
5. Chinese [LOUSY]
6. Schoolwork [STRUGGLING]
7. See² [DIDN’T DO MUCH]
8. Treasurer duties [NEGLECTING]

I’ve had this strange of bout of depression lately. I feel… unwanted. I know this is not the case but sigh I wish people would treat me with as much respect as I respect them.

Not that anyone treats me without respect, but I really do want someone to make me feel as if I’m important enough, that someone wants me to exist or else he/she would be very sad because I didn’t exist.

I want a friend who would ask me out (;_;) and would consult me for HTH talks and would listen and laugh to whatever I have to say, maybe go spastic around and have a lot of fun with and would go for long walks around the CBD with me. We would take turns to talk and maybe call each other cunts for the fun of it and playfully punch each other on the forearm and meet up often and sit in secluded places while hugging our knees and rocking back and forth discussing and gossiping and laughing and taking all the time in the world.

I WANT A CLOSE UNDERSTANDING SIMILAR-INTERESTED NON-BESOTTED RESPECTFUL CARING CALM WILLING-TO-LISTEN FUN FANTASTIC MOTIVATIONAL HUMBLE FRIEND THAT’S ALL. MY GOD IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR. (IF YOU’RE A GIRL ALL THE BETTER I’M SO DESPERATE 🙁 )

I want people to read my blog but I’m too humble (how ironic) to go promote it. I don’t even know who reads this any more blah.

THAT WAS A SHORT-LIVED RANT OF THE HIDDEN, VIRTUALLY NON-EXISTENT EGO OF MINE

I’m relieved that I’m not the sole cause for that problem. I did despair about it for a week, but I’m relieved that now a few of us share the blame. Warped thinking, I know! I should be less susceptible to guilt-tripping blah.

Haha, how can toilet paper orientation be such an important topic to deserve a Wikipedia article? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper_orientation

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Woke up at 11am because I could and my mom alerted me to the presence of spaghetti in the kitchen. Stuffed myself full with that whole lump of noodles bah.

I stoned at the computer and occasionally picked up the guitar to attempt to learn the lazy song by Bruno Mars. I didn’t. BLAH.

Neither did I do my work. BLAH BLAH.

At 2:30pm I remembered that I had to go for a study date with marie kang and yuchuan so I tried to look for my ticket to heartstrings which we were going to go for after studying. I even emptied all 7 kgs of my school bag to look for it but to no avail. The amount of shredded paper from within the bag was horrenous D:

But noooooooo I had to leave it in my uniform which went into the wash and the ticket was completely and utterly disintegrated. That sucked but I was lazy to go out anyway. I didn’t feel all that sad about being left out though.

I ended up lying on the bed next to my mom and whining at her about life. She seemed a bit amused and said that I looked handsome which is either complete bull or made me very happy.

That made time for me to visit the Reach Cambridge peeps at the airport. Mostly talked to sean, kerry and Dr Ang, but nothing much happened after that. A lot of people said I slimmed down and I was happy. Then I took a solitary bus journey home.

Just finished reading The Judas Strain after a week! (forgive me, I spent the last week reading a few pages at a time and finally reading half of the 600+ pages today) James Rollin is really good at describing locations wow.

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To celebrate Yuchuan’s birthday, we went out to “tea party” which was this pretty extravagant and overpriced board-game cafe. I didn’t have much fun because it was Derek’s “idea of an all-guys outing” and only guys went which meant it was very rough and a bit gay. Although I laughed a lot, Strahan treated us to pizza and we played around a bit, I could sense a bit of tension in the air and it was rather uncomfortable.

On the way back I was thinking.

Mostly because I was talking to Chor Hian and that afterwords I was sitting opposite a lovey-dovey couple. The only reason why I was sitting opposite a lovey-dovey couple is because I was on one of the newest lousily-designed buses with a pitiful amount of seats and every alternate pair facing backwards. And the best place to think about stuff would be opposite a lovey-dovey couple because when you’re opposite a lovey-dovey couple you tend to look away from their happy moment awkwardly and think about other things. Also because I was listening to We Are Scientists.

I was thinking that I wanted to do something with my life. Something that isn’t totally about computing. Because I’m sick and tired of computing. But I’m stuck with it so that sucks.

I don’t need or want to be popular.

I want to be respected for once, to be a role model or something for once, for someone to think that I’m so awesome or something that he/she reads my blog and attempt to copy my style which is mostly what I do oops

For someone to make me feel wanted, for a reason to exist, for a group of BFFs, for friends I’d like to be together with to the very end and for friends who I’d really care about (do I already have them?).

That would work. I really need an ego boost.

But until I manage to increase my willpower and manage to work hard to be talented at something… that’ll have to be the way the cookie crumbles.

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During GP we learnt cool idioms through the magic of charades like “life’s not all beer and skittles” which means “life’s not all fun and games”.

I didn’t do my Econs work as usual even though I promised myself that I would. I really don’t have any willpower 🙁

Mr. Tan told BT and me to meet him after Econs consultation, which Malcolm couldn’t turn up for Turns out that our project idea was a bad idea and we’d be better off writing about helping people in East Timor. Before we could protest, he plonked this 2010 WR by another group in front of us. Which was about the exact same topic, had the same sources (because food waste in Singapore is quite a shit topic to talk about) and even had the same solutions. This meant that we couldn’t risk doing the same topic for fear of plagarism. If we tried not to plagarise anyone, we probably would

We were despairing while Mr. Tan went through what we could do. However, Malcolm had a brainwave and told us to use “sports injuries in youths” as a problem, which was frankly the best idea anyone had come up with in the entire 7 months we spent on this project. So I guess it was okay. But Mr. Tan kept trying to persuade us to take up projects relating to other countries such as depleted uranium in Bosnia which is frankly an idea only a lofty-headed person would try to solve. I know it’s serious, but how are we supposed to come up with a solution that the authorities didn’t?

So after that I went home.

I realised I was overreading people’s emotions and body language and stuff and I often mistake people for being angry or scared or whatever when they aren’t actually. I’m either extra-sensitive or extra-dunderheaded and blah. That outburst on Friday…

I can’t say I didn’t mean it. But I’ll try to look past all these negativities… the next time.

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Today was the last day of art club.

It was the official handover where we had fun with the J2 seniors, Grace and Hui Suan.

We had really silly games like “Cosplay” where Zhonghao and I battled Marie in a fashion contest where we were supposed to see who was more interesting and stuff. I played a transvestite flower sales(wo)man, Zhonghao as a sword-toting pirate-samurai dude and Marie as a hobo with a teddy bear.

We also played “Broken Picture Telephone” which was this game where we sat in a circle and took turns to write/draw in tiny booklets. Thanks to Grace and HS we had phallic and sexual imagery in every single booklet we distributed haha.

Afterwards the whole art club ate ice cream together. In a circle. It seemed like an Indian peace pipe session where we passed ice-cream tubs and chatted about everything in the world including a lot of innuendoish stuff. Also the girl-guy ratio was 15:4 which wasn’t unsettling.

Hui Suan said my hair looked good and I was flattered.

Then, Kenneth, Marie, Grace, HS, Musho and I went over to Aston’s to have dinner. It was fun. And we left after an hour and a half, but not after I had a short-lived insult battle with Grace haha.

And the final session ended.

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I have the strange eerie sinking feeling in my heart right now. Like what most heart attack patients probably feel like (I just googled “what does a heart attack feel like” and they said it was more of a dull pressured pain but who cares)

Man it just got WORSE.

I had this pimple on the part of my nose which lies under the nose-rest of my spectacles, so it hurt every time I had to push my glasses back up. So in the morning I had this extremely ingenious idea to stick a cotton swab onto my nose so that my spectacles stopped cutting into the pimple. People kept asking me what that was for so I either replied with “I punched myself in the face” or “I tried to cut my hair but cut myself by accident” or “I walked into a pillar” because a cotton swab on your nose grants you the freedom to say whatever the hell you want.

Thanks for the Pinkie Pie, Chuan!

During Physics lecture (which was so incredibly boring, I fell asleep. In my half-conscious state I dreamt of going to the fridge which was in a pitch-dark LT3 to take out bottles of mustard and ketchup. Then I woke up and realised the lecturer was talking about sources (sauces LOL) of waves haha.

After school Derek and I headed on to the old grandpa and grandma’s place for CIP. On the way there I decided to consult him for a manly HTH, and we reached a general consensus that I should start looking at people past their flaws.

Maybe then I’ll live for 5 more years or something.

aaargh why am I so worried it’s all damned SPECULATION. I’M A DICK.

gah today was so damn unbelievably shitty.

Started with Physics SPA which I forgot all about/didn’t bother to study for (but it was exactly the same as our mock SPAs). Everything went swimmingly except for the bloodydamnfucktarded part where I only had an 8B pencil with me (which I bought on impulse because I reasoned that an 8B had 4 times the value than a 2B) So in the end my results were marred by tables and a graph with borders and axes with smudgy lines 0.3cm thick.

I spoilt my $36 Creative in-ear earphones because I was running on the treadmill and I connected it to my HTC (because the battery on my ipod was spent because I spent the better half of the day playing tiny tower [which I have decided to quit because I realise there isn’t really any damned point in it] and Solomon’s Keep [which is fantastic] ) which I put on the ledge of the treadmill. When I was running I kept stuffing the earphones in my ears because they kept threatening to drop out just like some spoilt primary school students. Then I stuffed it quite hard and I realised that the sound went soft. BLAH.

And I was busy being pissed at two people, the guy from 3 posts back and the guy from the last post. I didn’t really need to be pissed but then my massive ego dictated that they should repent and say sorry or something which led to me telling the second guy to “fuck off”. I think I should be less angry all the time.

But there were some silver linings such as Jaime meeting us during the gym session and jiayou-ing me and maybe even Marie calling out to me from quite a distance just to say hi. And hilarious reactions to nominations. And silly trolling and cheering-up people who appear to be sad but actually aren’t all that sad and discussing about members and stuff.

These things make a shitty day not so shitty after all!

BUT MY EARPHONES NOOOOO QQ