Category: General

Watched Normal 5 hours ago. Andrea had to skip out on me, citing that she was too bogged down with work. 

Ended up watching a play that ultimately made me feel shitty (in a good way) and leaving with nobody to discuss it with. I sat with Huzir Sulaiman(!!) and his wife(?) Passed the flowers Zenda requested to Faith Ng(!!!)  after the show, which she accepted with an apologetic, awkward “oh” before skipping off to talk to Huzir Sulaiman. The ride home was lonely and I felt like a puddle. 

I have to wake up at 730 but my computer is rendering things. Please hurry. There is an idiot beetle flying around my room and smashing into everything. 

I’m getting what it means to love yourself; I’m not getting a reply I was looking for and I’ve decided that it’s not necessary to obtain approval when life goes on and on and on regardless. 

I’m simultaneously lamenting my subpar assets and resolving to improve whatever I have. While work piles on. 

Lonely night, though. 

That gif’s pretty much taboo. 

Golden Record’s ended. Election’s passed. Rejected all of my nominations. Andrea told me it was good that I knew what I wanted, and I smiled a little. 

I can feel the assignments creeping up and this week’s the perfect time to complete them. Have a little self-respect. Have a little discipline. 

Woke up to learn that I’d scored absolutely pathetically for Security Midterms. 

Fucked up my lines out of anxiety yesterday. 

It’s all an excuse. Your migraine and stresses will end right here and after this production, you will have to pull your shit together. You aren’t born a genius. You need to do something about it. 

I will. I will.

Every time I return to my room, a new gift lies on my doorknob or desk. Homemade cookies, a teddy on a stick and a beer with cashews. 

—

She apologised over and over, wringing the sunflower’s thick stalk between her digits. I smiled as kindly as I could muster. We sat there for an hour or so. I felt an occasional drizzle, and she did too, but neither of us wanted to leave. The talk was oddly unstrained for me. I didn’t want to meet anyone along the way back. 

The walk back was a struggle against a sidewards drizzle and cold calves. Her umbrella couldn’t help much, so I walked in the rain. 

I had a terrible thought that existence was just way too exhausting and that thirty years old was too many years to be old

Swaying. Laughing. Sleeping. 

A Series of Unfortunate Events seemed mildly disappointing after the first episode. 

Everyone has different accounts of any event ever; throwing out heartbreaks, loneliness, unfaithfulness, abandonment, riddance and the like, words words words set to sway consciences to their end. 

I want to believe in the good of you but you’re not letting me. 

rough day, glad everyone understood