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Today was utterly terrible.

Slept at 3AM for no damn reason and woke at 4:40AM because it rained. Listened to thunder claps for a while before I dozed off again, and woke up at my 7:30 alarm. Sent some SMSes of goodwill, set the alarm to 8:30AM and went back to sleep.

For some damn reason the alarm DID NOT SOUND and I slept until 10:30 which meant that essentially the entire morning was gone.

I got distracted by Battlefield 3 until 2:30PM which was BAD. I mean, I could essentially have some exams in the morning, come back home and still have time to take a quick nap before I started on revision.

In addition to not having anything much done other than integration which I still do not understand all that much. It was really goddamn terrible the entire afternoon with this huge uneasiness constricting on my chest. Like I wanted to beat the hell out of something, but I was too lazy to go out and run. Besides, there’s a frickin’ exam tomorrow and the last thing I need is for my (socially-unaccepted) emotions to make me all pissed off and give up on everything. So I ended up venting my anger on a series of integration questions.

I haven’t revised for Physics either and I should, or else those scholarships will be out of my reach.

11:11 I wish I didn’t give a shit about everything non-school related, just like I wouldn’t have a bloody year ago.

Edit:

Now that we’ve gotten the symbolic 11:11 thing out of the way.

The uneasiness. I don’t know, it’s some form of restlessness that I can’t describe. Everything from Facebook statuses (actually MOSTLY Facebook statuses) to the clutter on your desk just… irks you so badly. The fact that I haven’t done Sequences and Series or Vectors or Physics really doesn’t help at all. It’s just all so absolutely goddamn depressing and I don’t know why. Is there a male form of PMS because if there is then I HAVE IT. RIGHT NOW.

At least I got the GPP off to Malcolm, which made me feel slightly better.

BUT STILL.

I’m going to study till I remember everything about Vectors. Not too sure about sequences and series, I don’t recall having difficulties with it because I copied everything off the board.

Turns out that econs was indeed rather managable if I decided to study for it instead of whining that it was impossible to get anything above a “U”.

Which led to a whole lot of conceptual fuck-ups which were a damn shame to throw away.

My mind was occupied during the whole of the exam with dubstep and various other things for no apparent reason which led to me staring blankly at the wall quite a few times.

The only good thing is that I have the whole of tomorrow to sort out Math and Physics.

People keep saying I should have more confidence in myself.

Blah.

Spent a day somewhat alone without touching the computer. BUT I TOUCHED MY IPOD TOUCH! WHAT BLASPHEMY!

I got loads of things done. Including math, math and math.

Went to cycle! My groin is now in a pulp.

I cycled behind this kid and he thought I was trying to race him, so I tailed him at top speed for half the park and I must’ve looked like a rapist.

That’s one thing off my bucketlist I guess.

🙁

Looking forward to Wednesday OH I can’t wait.

I did feel a bit lonely (dependencies tsk) but the pocket watch is a nice thing to remember fondly about fond memories.

Just joking. I sat at the computer with a pen in my mouth for 4 hours straight.

I’m gonna go sleep now.

OTHER POTENTIAL TITLES FOR THIS POST: [✔] Looking like a rapist

================================

–AND NOW, FUNNY CONVERSATION–

get your priorities straight

Me:

@*(#$ I want my scholarships

Darryl:

oh you’re one of those overachieving science types

alright then mr “good grades” and “bright future”

Sent my laptop for servicing because of a borked keyboard that can’t type backspace, “O”, “I” or “9”.

Which means that I have no computer to work with. Which means that I can finally get started on revision!

😀

On the other hand I’ll be nigh impossible to contact other than via Twitter or Facebook or SMS so if a chat is desired just drop me a line and I’ll wrestle my brother off the desktop.

Okay time to start on math.

As quickly as it had arrived, my birthday has ended. I’m not special any more boo.

It was a damn fine day today.

I know I said that birthdays aren’t all that worth celebrating, but there’s a certain mood in the air that makes you really optimistic and cheerful: while taking every step to the bus stop; while smiling all the time; while struggling to keep yourself awake.

It’s a normal day, but certain things make you feel special: Hellos are punctuated with “… And happy birthday!”, classmates spontaneously break into song at the end of lessons (and attempt to ram you crotch-first into a doorframe) and friends greet you with a smile, a card and a present while you hold it with both hands, nearly speechless, lamely stuttering “wow thanks umm thanks this is umm pretty cool thanks guys okay bye” and giving a loose hug for the guys and a pat on the back for the girl.

I hate myself for not being more appreciative because everything I’ve received today means more than an “umm thanks”.

I was greeted at home with char siew mee and cake which was fantastic. Cheesy, especially for someone my age, but I really do appreciate what my family has done for me. 🙂

So here I am, laying on the bed, clicking the most terrific, beautiful and meaningful pocket-watch ever open and close. I wind the watch a few times, to keep it moving. I’ll have to do this daily but I don’t mind. I explore the details with my fingers, while gazing at the ticking clockwork within the metallic chamber. Minutes pass. I read the cutest, most wonderful card ever over and over and over again.

This is all so very darnedly touching. I can’t express myself very well but man I feel appreciated and I really love you all for this. 🙂

17 years has passed and it’s a very happy day for me indeed.