It really worries me that my present outlook on the oncoming A’s is one of aloofness. I haven’t been truly stressed over an exam since secondary 2, and I’m regretting it.
I’ve mentioned this a few times, that I’m actually worried that I’m not worried.
I’m sure that I’ve done pretty fucking badly for some of the exams that have passed already, and although there have been reports on people jokingly praying to the “Bell Curve Deity”, I’ve been increasingly hopeful that, well, this curve actually works in my favour. (Although I do believe/hope there’s a Big Man Upstairs)
My main problem, that I cannot ever fix, I have no idea how to write my answers fast enough. My lack of speed has already affected my GP and Econs and I have been asking everyone “how do you write faster?” Only to hear “just write” like some pseudo-cryptic oracle whose words can propel me tp victory. What do you think I’m doing with a pen in my hand? Daydreaming? (Well shit I think I was)
I seem to have lost most of my motivation already; I just don’t know if the rest will be as disastrous as the first few.
Alright don’t flip your shit just yet- I know that “it’s just a sheet of paper” and I “have many options left”. It’s just that society has groomed my preferences this special way, and I can’t help but scowl at my impending, bleak future.
I’m looking towards graphic designing, and I hope its qualifications are as lax as the arts are. It’s a tough market out there though.
I don’t want to be the guy rotting my tits off slaving at a desk (or counter) whilst all my friends toss their mortarboards on their graduation days.
I don’t want to be the dad who has to tell his children to study hard and not become such a miserable, abject failure like he was.
I don’t want to be afraid of returning to class reunions because I fucked my life up.
Basically, I don’t want to lose face, and it’s pretty terrible that I can’t do anything about it just because, well, I didn’t bother to train myself to write faster. Regrets, oh the regrets.
On the intense, 122-caldera-bright side, I haven’t encountered anything I didn’t know how to answer.
That means I’m smart… right?
Gah I really don’t know what to do with myself
Inane
Comments
3 responses to “Inane”
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son, academic success (which IQ is indicative of) doesn’t necessarily lead to success in life. and the other paths (aka not going college), require more of personality traits like RESILIENCE. If you have something you want to do, then train up on it, be one of the best out there! People don’t succeed because they got lucky, but coz they kept trying.
anyway, the ‘just write’ advice is as follows:
– SEE QUESTION
– IDENTIFY CONCEPT
– DUNNOE WHAT QUESTION IS ASKING
– SPAM EVERYTHING HOPE SOMETHING GOES THROUGH YEAHHHHH
yep, study so that you can at least do that when you’re desperate. Which a better solution would be recall what you have gone through during your econs tutorials, it’ll help. (if you even see this before tmr that is)
Good luck!-
I guess I’m pretty confident in my concepts, so I think that I could pull off the “just write” if I wanted…? It’s just real terrifying that a simple slip of paper gets to potentially define a huge chunk of my future and I’m afraid that I’m not in the mood to work hard :/ Nonetheless I think I got at least a bit of my motivation back! Just write just write just write just writeeeee Thanks, eternal bench camper! All the best to you too 😀
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While i won’t encourage people to bang on the bellcurve bullshit, i daresay that the standards of candidates nationwide are very polarized. There are people who give up fully on papers and just sleep from the start, and there are the other 4 JCs who you have to compete with for your grades. Seeing that you have yet to stumble across anything you’re unable to answer you can’t screw up too bad.
An A level cert is just a piece of paper valid for getting you into uni, probably nothing more than that (ie. probably unimportant for most job applications etc.)
For the papers that are over, you can’t do anything other than helplessly fretting so I’ll suggest you just look ahead for your 2 remaining papers and whatever comes after that. Do not have the misconception that just cos of the school we’re from, getting any grade other than A is a sin, because there are really lots of people out there in my batch (myself included) that screwed up. There is a 2nd/3rd chance of retaking in NS although I’ll tell you it’s a pretty messed affair and you wouldn’t want to if you can help it.
And fret not, there is usually too much free time in army for you to mull over all the issues you’re worrying about now, and you should be able to make more thought out decisions for what you wish to do in future.
Good luck with the rest of your papers (:
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